Some prelim info

Day 5. Running low on supplies. Might have to eat Johnson’s leg. Can’t start drinking sea water. Can’t watch any more Telemundo. Started reading Maxim. Oh God.

Things are good. Hospital is great. Nurses are great. The doctors who know what’s going with me are great. I think the staff still thinks I’m funny….but I also think they kinda wish I was just another comatose person in a hospital bed so they didn’t have to pretend to laugh at my jokes.

Initial diagnosis is Hodgkin’s Lymphoma – the most treatable kind of cancer there is. Not sure of the stage – need more tests. I’ll get more info on Monday and begin treatment soon.

Definition of Hodgkin lymphoma: A cancer of the immune system that is marked by the presence of a type of cell called the Reed-Sternberg cell. The two major types of Hodgkin lymphoma are classical Hodgkin lymphoma and nodular lymphocyte-predominant Hodgkin lymphoma. Symptoms include the painless enlargement of lymph nodes, spleen, or other immune tissue. Other symptoms include fever, weight loss, fatigue, or night sweats. Also called Hodgkin disease.

FYI – that is an exact list of my symptoms over the past 5 months. Kinda figured some doctor may have noticed it earlier. Guess not.

As the nurse says – chemo will be 5 months of suck. I’ll mostly be outpatient but have to be in the hospital through the first treatment.

I’ve also got other side conditions. The vein from my head and arms is almost completely cut off from my heart and I’ve got some blood clots to deal with. My heart and organs are clear. I’ve got some breathing restrictions – so I won’t be able to participate in this year’s company sack race. But treating the lymphoma should cause all these other things to clear up. And then my face will go back to handsome skinny Steve instead of John Lovitz Alec Baldwin sized Steve.

I’m back on steroids, which I was taking for the ‘sinus infection’ and they cause me to look and feel much better than I do. Ironically, steroids are a very early treatment for Hodgkin’s and that’s why I felt so great when I was getting them for my sinuses. A red herring, indeed. So I look and sound better than I am thanks to Roid Rage.

Probably more definite info tomorrow. Until then, the Hoochy Hoochy Sunday Morning Show is on Telemundo….


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