I feel good today.
Check that – I feel great today.
My usual chemo-zombie-sicky feeling cleared up by Sunday night (after a long Sunday afternoon nap). I woke up this morning with a desire for coffee – which is usually the first sign that my body is returning to normal.
Also, the problem with my portacath shouldn’t be a big deal. It should just be a surface infection that is supposed to clear up with the help of some antibiotics. The doctors are hoping that I can start getting chemo in the port by my next treatment. Nothing is for certain, but I’ll take a little good news.
Why else do I feel good today? I feel good because I spent most of last week feeling bad. Hitting the half way point of chemo left me feeling like there was a lot of fight behind me…and still a lot more fight left to come. It left me feeling exhausted and anxious. It left me feeling a bit sorry for myself. The rollercoaster that is my cancer treatment had hit a dip.
But mostly I feel good today because a lot of other people have taken the time to make me feel good. A friend at work asked about me – someone I didn’t even know was aware of my treatments. That was very nice of him.
I got a great postcard in the mail from friends in Spain. And an unexpected card signed by some friends and strangers from New York.
I got good news on my blog from a fellow Hodgkin’s patient that I’ve never met. I heard from my Hodgkin’s buddy that I met in the hospital when this all began. And another cancer survivor friend just keeps on keeping on – reminding me that this to will pass.
I feel good today because I have so many more reasons for feeling good than feeling bad.
And I want you all to know that when I have to take a deep breath and give myself a shot – I think of all of you. When I think of my next treatment and my stomach flips over – I’ll think of all those strangers in New York who are rooting for me. Port or no port – when the needles come, I’ll think of my fellow Hodgkin’s patients. I think of my family and friends and fellow cancer patients and strangers who have taken an interest.
I feel good today because its Monday and I’m getting better and people are awesome.
Thanks for being awesome.