Magic Monday Mornings

I don’t write as much on this blog anymore. I think its because my treatment – and my days – are starting to feel a bit routine.

I weather the chemo pretty well. I haven’t had the same complications as some other people I know. No trips to the hospital. No new developments at the doctor. Everything seems to be moving along the way it should be. And I don’t want to upset the balance. I’m not sure what I’m doing that makes it feel like its working…but whatever it is, I don’t want to change it either.

I slipped on the nutrition front the past couple of days and I think I could feel it. Nausea and feeling terrible at the end of the week seems abnormal to me. And I want to blame it on the poor diet I had on Friday. So, this weekend, I tried to get back on the horse. I have to stay focused on what goes in my body – fruits, veggies, water.

For some reason, the sickness I feel after chemo seems to clear up on Monday morning. I still feel tired and have occassional bouts of nausea during the week – but the difference I feel between Sunday night and Monday morning is amazing. I also think the steroids are still having an effect on me by Monday because I seem to wake up and I’m ready to go go go.

Whatever the reason, I refer to them as Magic Monday Mornings because the world seems to right itself and I can start to get back to a regular life for another week and half.

One change this week is that I have to take my Neupogen shots for an extra 3 days. And I can feel it. It must build up in my system because the bone pain is almost constant at some points in the day. I feel achy in my legs, my back, my shoulders. But my white blood counts were so low last treatment that they almost didn’t give me chemo – so I’ve got to do what I can to keep those WBC up.

Other than the medical stuff, I’ve been trying extra hard to keep my life busy. Some days I wake up and feel like I’ve got too much on my plate. Some days I wake up and I feel like I don’t have enough going on and I’m wasting my time. But one thing is constant – I count every day.

I count every Neupogen shot.

I count every treatment.

I count up the days…the weeks…the months until I’m supposed to be done with my chemo.

I count up how many more disability checks I’m going to collect until I can get back to work.

Maybe all of this counting is actually bad for me. My friend’s advice is to live more in the present – make the most of the day I have in front of me and not worry so much about what is coming later. I try. But it is difficult when every day is broken up into a series of pills, shots, protein drinks and more pills.

It almost feels like I’m living two lives – the life of a patient and my ‘healthy’ life. The sick days are spent as a patient – which is fine with me. I’m willing to take the time I need to get better.

But after that Magic Monday Morning…when I almost feel like myself again…I want to push push push to get my healthy life back again.

And it will come in time.

In 5 more treatments.

1 month of radiation.

27 more Neupogen shots.

5 more months….

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11 responses to “Magic Monday Mornings

  1. Hey SD,

    Keep fighting the good fight. It will soon be a bad memory. By the way, my F.I.L. thinks the Neupogen shots are by far the worst part of the whole treatment.

    CD

  2. Hey soldier, tell Jen thanks for helping my mom with the commercial shoot subsistence. I still have to come up to visit you guys soon. You’re doing well emotionally at least. October is coming up. We should all do some Halloween hijinks. Love you guys.

  3. Keep counting all the good stuff too. Someday this will be a tiny little blip in our lives. Though, it’s certainly hard to see that right now … Happy Magic Monday-soak it up!

  4. Just dropping by to wish you *lots* of good days, and lots of rest on the days that aren’t. Hang in there, man. You’re stronger than the chemo, and you’re stockpiling your share of good days for after the cancer is gone. 🙂

  5. Just thinking about you… worked with Jen (always a pleasure) and wanted to check in. She said the you are doing some holistic stuff… I’m liking that. Did you know that the spice tumeric inhibits the growth of tumors… just a little tid bit.
    Anyway my friend… you are kicking ass.. You will soon be able to count how long ago it was that you went through this!!!

  6. I agree, keep counting the good things too. And keep fighting this like a rock star. We think of you often (:
    -www.lastfortypercent.com/blog

  7. Sergio & Ana Amalia

    Hi Steve,
    Just to say we miss you and Jen so much.
    Hope to see you both in Rio very soon.
    We can always think that “Magic Monday’s” can be followed by “Magic Thuesday’s, Wed…. and so on. “Keep Walking” …..
    You are doing good….. Love You.

  8. Ricardo Montaban

    Good to see you. Keep that pistacio pudding on hand,

    Ricky

  9. old birds on Bird Street

    Hi Steve,
    Mom Kilareski here. Wanted to check in with you on a Magic Monday. You sure are doing a good job of sticking to the plan.
    I think counting is a good thing and subtracting is even better! Look how far you have come with your treatments and this battle.
    Tell Jen we said “Hi”.
    Love,
    Mary

  10. Drink Aloe juice!

  11. Hi ya Steve, just thinking about you. You’re truly an inspiration to us all. Hang in there. Monday is right around the corner.

    Fred

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