Waiting…

Still waiting for final biopsy results from the doctor.

I have gotten all of your concerned calls and messages and emails. And I thank you. Sorry, I haven’t gotten back to everyone.

I’ve spent my past few days recovering from my surgery. Mostly hopped up on pain pills the first couple of days and short of breath. I have felt dramatically better over the past couple of days and now I mostly have a lingering soreness and minimal chest pain when I take a deep breath. All according to how the doctors told me I would progress.

On a side note: I started this blog as a way to keep in touch with a lot of people at once and also tell the story of what it takes to get through Hodgkin’s Treatment – something that other patients could read.

Now, sometimes, I feel like I’m writing some kind of online short story. That people tune in for ‘updates’ as if they were new chapters in a book. I have a love/hate relationship with this blog right now. I guess, a lot of it comes from the fact that I never thought I’d have to write on it again.

For every blog post I write, Jen and I go through days of happiness, sadness, concern, stress, laughter and anxiety. There are phone calls with family and friends. Emails. Facebook messages. Texts. It is difficult to tell the same story over and over again. Difficult to answer the question “How are you doing?” so many times a day.

I thought by creating a place where I could talk about my treatments would help me put Hodgkin’s in its place. It’s not my life but it is a big part of my life.

Now, looking down the barrel of facing more treatments, I have to not only come to terms with going through more physical trauma but also handling this ever present need to keep my audience updated.

I’m happy that technology gives me a window from which I can tell my story to so many at once. While at the same time, things were better a couple of months ago when I had slipped back into anonymity.

So please, bear with me as I readjust.

Thanks.

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8 responses to “Waiting…

  1. I have not participated in the over-contacting, but I understand those who are doing so. We love you, of course. Still, do what you can in the blogging. Rock on.

    • JB. It’s not a matter of over-contacting. Everyone has been really good about giving us some space. Especially this past weekend when I needed time to recover from surgery and we wait for biopsy results. No one has over-contacted, and I really appreciate that. It is more of a matter of so many different people in my life who want to offer support or find out information. We limited the number of visitors this weekend and I don’t have time to return all the calls and emails. My fault for being so popular. I wanted to express some of my frustration with having to go back to this blog in the first place. It is weird that people are ‘tuned back in’ to my life again. And I’m just trying to keep my head straight about it.

  2. Steve – Thanks so much for telling us like it is. I hear your voice in your writing and I appreciate hearing straight from you instead of other people’s interpretations.

    So, you are not Superman today. We all understand! There is always tomorrow to get your cape back on.

    I am most grateful for all of your posts. It’s not easy to share everything – but is appreciated.

    Much Love, CD

  3. i’m always tuned into your life stevo 🙂 xxx

  4. stephen and jen, i have not been on line in months just got on and saw your blog i have been constantly thinking of you both i have not called because i know how daunting all this is i know you have a dr. appt this morning and should get the results your mom has been great in keeping me updated stephen and jen you guys have each other and love each other your love will get you both thru this it is the one thing medicine can’t give you – its your love for each other and your strength together that is ultimately going to beat this love you both very much oh Gia and Ally send their love too

  5. Just love & support from the NYC gang – Melissa, Chris, Jocelyn, Stephanie & Gabriella

  6. Steve & Jen, enjoy Italy, the wedding, each other, and the well deserved break! Much love & support, Mom & Joe

  7. i know you and jen are enjoying italy so glad you were able to get away. love you both.

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